JAN LOKPAL BILL

THIS IS A RESPONSE TO INDIA AGAINST CORRUPTION'S FACEBOOK PAGE IDEA THAT PEOPLE COME UP WITH THEIR OWN VERSION OF LOKPAL BILL,I HAVE GIVEN MY VIEWS HERE.

Stalwarts like Anna hazare,Kiran Bedi,the Bhushan’s and Arvind kejriwal are drafting the bill, and they are doing a great job, I am just an ordinary young citizen of this country who is tired of corruption, here is my humble attempt at proposing some additions to be made in the bill.


I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A MODEL COMPRISING OF 3 COMMITTIES -

1)THE SELECTION COMMITTEE-




This committee would conduct a simple exam checking the candidate’s proficiency in the local language and his/her general awareness and basic knowledge of the bill, also the committee would conduct an interview of the candidates who have a satisfactory performance in the interview

2)TRAINING COMMITTEE-







This committee would train the selected candidates, I suggest 4 training colleges throughout the country, conducting a 15 days diploma for making him/her ready for the post. Time to time seminars can be conducted to promote a continuous learning experience of lokpals. Also the lokpal of a particular area would be trained to use social networking sites like facebook/orkut to keep in touch with the people in that area, video sharing sites like youtube can also be used by lokpal to explain matters to the people of that area

3) THE REVIEW COMMITTEE-






This committee would-
a) Ask lokpal’s to submit monthly reports detailing their performance, with a special stress on cases which they are unable to solve
b) After assuming their post as Lokpal would get his/her net worth declared at the beginning and at the end of his/her term, so that a comparison can be done by the performance review committee and ensure that there has been no suspicious change in his wealth, a chartered Accountant’s services can be used here.
c) An yearly meeting would be held between the lokpal of an area and its residents, a copy of its report would also be sent to the review committee
d)This committee, if is not satisfied with the lokpal’s work or has received complaints about him/her ,can terminate him/her, after carrying out a detailed investigation and giving him/her a chance to explain his/her situation.

I hope more people come out and give ideas, THIS IS YOUR BILL PEOPLE, CONTRIBUTE!!
Name-D.shiv Ratan
Age-21
Qualification-Pursuing CA

3 WAYS TO BECOME THE PRIME MINISTER/PRESIDENT OF INDIA

1 YOU HAVE TO BE REALLY OLD (ANCIENT IS THE RIGHT WORD)

NOW IF YOU WANT TO BECOME THE PM OF INDIA THEN YOU HAVE TO BE REALLY OLD,I MEAN REAAALLLY OLD,YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN WHEN DINOSAURS WERE ROAMING AROUND,YOU AGE SHOULD BE SO OLD THAT YOUR MIGHT HAVE TO BE DETERMINED BY CARBON DATING,MOST OF PEOPLE YOU KNOW SHOULD BE DEAD OR SO HELPLESS THAT EVEN DEATH DOESN’T WANT THEM










MORARJI DESAI WAS THE OLDEST PRIME MINISTER IN THE WORLD-WAS 81 YRS OLD WHEN HE BECAME THE PM OF INDIA






2) YOU NEED TO HAVE EVERY KNOWN DISEASE TO MANKIND


YOU MUST HAVE POOR EYESIGHT,JOINT PAINS,YOU SHOULD GO TO COMA ONCE IN A WHILE,THE MORE DISEASED YOU ARE THE BETTER THE CHANCES YOU HAVE, I THINK THE CRITERIA FOR SELECTION OF PRIME MINISTERS AND PRESIDENTS IS THE POLITICAL PARTIES MAKE A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKELY TO DIE IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS(THE SOONER THE BETTER),AND THE PERSON WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO DIE IS SELECTED.




"ZINDA LASH"


ATAL BIHARI BAJPAYEE HAD SEVERE KNEE PROBLEMS THROUGHOUT HIS TERM IN THE OFFICE




3) YOU SHOULD HAVE ALL THE BEST DEGREES IN THE WORLD, YOU SHOULD BE VERY INTELLIGENT, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO GOVERNING THE COUNTRY, YOU HAVE TO BE SOMEONES SOCK PUPPET,YOU HAVE TO ASK MADAMJEE BEFORE YOU TAKE A DECISON ,ASK MADAMJEE BEFORE YOU TAKE A LEAK,ASK MADAMJEE BEFORE YOU TAKE A SHIT.





NEED I SAY ANYTHING ELSE???


SAD BUT TRUE.

Shiv calls the customer care

Shiv calls the customer care


Right now, I called the HAIR-TEL customer care service, my internet was not working..i dialed the number and this is what happened…
---Call rings---

“Welcome to hair-tel customer care service, THANK YOU FOR BOTHERING US…
PRESS 1 FOR HINDI, 2 FOR ENGLISH,3 FOR ANY OTHER LANGUAGE”







(I pressed 3)
“YOU A**HOLE!! WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM??AFRICA?? GO BACK AND PRESS 1 OR 2”






(I PRESS 2)
DIAL YOUR MOBILE NUMBER
(I DIALED MY NUMBER)
YOUR NUMBER IS xx-xxx-xxx PRESS 1 IF ITS CORRECT, PRESS 2 IF YOU ARE A F***KIN ILLITERATE AND YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL






(I PRESS 1)

OK, SO YOU CAN COUNT,PRESS 1 FOR MOBILE PROBLEM,PRESS 2 BECAUSE YOU SCREWED UP YOUR INTERNET


(I PRESS 2)

PRESS 1 IF YOU ARE LEFTY, PRESS 2 IF YOU ARE RIGHT HANDED, PRESS 3 IF YOU DON’T HAVE HANDS





(WTF!!! PRESS 2)

PRESS ONE TO TALK TO OUR CUSTOMER CARE

(I PRESS 1)

SORRY,ALL OUR EXECUTIVES ARE BUSY,ACTUALLY WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM,SO,DON’T BE A 2 YR OLD GIRL AND STOP CRYIN ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM,FIX IT ON YOUR OWN,PRESS 1 IF YOU STILL HAVE NO SELF RESPECT AND WANT TO CONTINUE




(I PRESS 1)

*THEY CUT THE CALL*

ME-



*SHIV THROWS THE PHONE OUT OF THE WINDOW*