An open Letter from Rakhi Sawant

species-itemus girlika
genus-tharkis
family- silicon implantus

An open Letter from Rakhi Sawant


To all My phans(although i love khaitan ke pankhe da most)

heloz da viewerz,gor se dekho aur gor se dekhooooo,bas bas zyda ni nai to silicon chubh jayega :p
dis is rakhis,2day m on da wire,or as they say on lines,writing letr fr da firsts times,pleej beat your one hand with the other(clap) and blow gas from your holes(whistle)
i luvz indian peoples,and mke luv wid stray dogs(she means she cares alot about stray dogs),i am so full of silicone,you could make a motherboard out of me,i am very talenteds,
i luves 2 dancers,i am looking for luv in ma livez,my prince charms(cigaratte wla :P),who will come on a horses,and drag me(she means will taker her wid him),i luvs to acts
so friendss dis ij alls for 2day

with lots of luvs,
yours and only yours*
Rakhis Sawants

* premium charges apply

Attack of the Anti-gs(Auntyjis)

i ws surfin da net and dis is wat i found out-
Dinosaurs lived for??-160 million years
Genghis khan lived for??-65 yrs
Hitler lived for??-56 yrs
Auntyjis will live for??- *critical error* *system needs to shutdown*

dettol wali auntyji galat bolti hain,kitanu har jagah nahi,anti-g har jagah milti hain,apke ghar mn,pados mein,etc etc

yes friends and girl friends,no matter where you are,you are never too far frm an anti-g

different types of anti-g

1)Mummy ki dost anti-g

Genrly ghar ke ek km ke radius pe milti hain,inko pokes-her-nose-in2-evrythng anti-g b bolte hn

2)Relative anti-g

Genrly found in your family,tends to know evrythng about da famly,and will insult you to death if you score half a mark less then their kid,and no matter what you do,you will always be inferior to their kids,inka main weapon comparision hta hn
example-
aunty-beta shiv tmhare maths mn kitne numbr aye??
shv-aunty 100 mn se 560
auntyji-mri bete ke 561 te,koi ni,tum usse padh lia kro

MY Stupid Facebook/Orkut Communities

I am tired of getting invitations to all kinds of stupid facebook/orkut communities

being the vella i am i was thinking if i made some communities what would their names be-


1)IT BURNS WHEN I PEE
do i have to elaborate on this??


2)IT HURTS WHEN SOMEBODY KICKS ME IN THE GROIN
Ouch!!!

3)I WAS IN MY TOILET WHEN SACHIN MADE 200

theres a page called i was alive when sachin made 200,hw stupid..dude what difference does it make where you were,when sachin made 200,i luv him,no doubt,but no point joining stupid communities

4)I HATE THOSE WHO HATE THOSE WHO HATE THOSE WHO HATE INDIA

I love my India :)

5) I MAKE MY OWN RULES AND I AM STYLISH AND I LUV BEER AND I HAVE ATTITUDE AND I LOVE SHOPPING AND CHOCOLATES AND I AM COOL (In short you are a jerk)

pretty much covers every community

The One with Maggi…

Time- 1:00 Am
Place: Beyond enemy territories, in a place rarely visited by me-The Kitchen
Mission-To cook MAGGI

I woke up that night, feeling hungry, I was all alone, I jumped into my fridge to find something to eat, but I found nothing, I was hungry, desperate and I went to the kitchen, and there I found something in a yellow packet, I saw those 5 dreaded letters M-A-G-G-I

My hands were shaking when I picked up that packet; I knew it was going to be my first time…what if I fail?? What if it doesn’t taste good? ...

Confusion No.1-

It said at the back that we had to put 1 and a half cup of water, now any intelligent man would ask the question, which cup,small cup or large cup?? Steel cup or ceramic cup??

Confusion No.2-

Break into four parts,but in the pic ,the wafers are broken in two parts only…

Confusion No.3-

Cook for two minutes, and stir occasionally-How many times does occasionally mean????

Sab kuch padh liya and samajh liya…now let me make some delicious Maggie…arey yar lighter kahan hain?? X(

uNCHE lOg,UnCHI pASAND,mANIKchand :p

KALLU BHAYYA..HOT AND SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE...ANY LADIES INTERESTED?? :P

“mY NAMe Is PAppu”

There are 3 types of successful actors in bollywood in the world, one who work hard and make it big, two, who don't work hard and make it big, and then there are people who k-k-k-kompletely don’t have the looks, or the acting skills, but make it big in bollywood. They buy stupid teams like K-K-K-K-KOLKATA KNIGHTRIDERS; yes ladies and gentlemen the one and only PAPPU KHAN.

“PAPPU KHAN’S GUIDE TO MAKE A SUPER DUPER HIT MOVIE”

1) NEW HEROINES

Give new talent a chance, bring a new heroine,even she is 45 years younger then you, you might be born in the 12th century, but still you will play a college going guy

2) THE “OPEN YOUR ARMS AND SLOWLY GHUMO” STEP

Pappu khan once told me that he copied this step from a beggar at New Delhi railway station, so no matter where you are, in a movie, in a stadium watching your team play, or pooping in the bathroom, just do it.

3) “I AM KING KONG(OOPS KING KHAN),BAADSHAH” TECHNIQUE

Keep repeating these words, shout them loud in front of media ,even if no one is listening, din mein 1001 bar,this will surely boost your self confidence, but the only side effect is you might be getting 250 volt shocks, in a mental hospital, where your family members may leave you at.

4) K-K-K-KONTROVERSY!!

My name is pappu, yes pappu!!! And when you are pappu, you are discriminated , you are checked at airports, cry about it, make noise, invite players from pappistan, roll naked on the floor, make love to a donkey, do whatever you can, just generate some hype.


FOLLOW THESE RULES, AND MAKE A HIT movie PAPPU ISSSHTYLE ;)

NOTE-ALL PAPPU FANS,IF YOU WERE HURT AND FEEL LIKE KILLING ME,ITS WAS TOTALLY INTENDED :)

PaPEROn MEIn FaiL hoNE Ke BAD ;)......

Doin articlship under babu mochi nw ;)