How to make your own celebrities :P

These are my perfect ingrediants for making your bollywood/hollywood star,if u get offended after reading this coz i kicked arses of your favrt celebrities,well SCREW YOU!! :-P

1)FIRST CELEBRITY-INGREDIENTS-

SUPERMAN








PLUS


BATMAN






PLUS

SPIDERMAN






PLUS




A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION TO MAGNIFY ALL THEIR POWERS MILLION TIMES






AND THE MOST IMPORTANT
NOTE-DO NOT FORGET,OR YOUR EXPERIMENT WILL MOST DEFINITELY FAIL---



IDLI SAMBAR




AND YOU HAVE THE ONE,THE ONLY,THE AMAZING,INCREDIBLE,BALD,BLACK,BUDHA












ENNA RASCALA MIND IT!!!


2)FOR MAKING THE 2ND CELEBRITY-INGREDIENTS-
SOME REALLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY FAAATTTTTTTTTTT AND UGLY LIPS



I MEAN REAALLLLLLLY FAAAAATTT


PLUS

A FROG-ANY SIMPLE FROG,BUT THE ONLY CONDITION IS SHOULDN'T ACT BETTER THAN PRIYANKA CHOPRA




AND YOU GET.......

EUREKA!!!!





3)THIRD CELEBRITY-INGREDIENTS
A BAT



PLUS

A FRIDGE



NOW ALL YA GOTTA DO IS PUT DEAD BAT IN THE FRIDGE FOR CLOSE TO A MILLION YEARS,WHEN YOU TAKE IT OUT MAKE SURE IT IS STINKING,HAS PALM TREES GROWING PN HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF HAIR AND HAS 600 PACK ABS..MAKE SURE HE SPEAKS STUPID MUSHY ROMANTIC STUFF TOO….AND VOILA……..



THE ULTIMATE DOUCHE BAG OF ALL

ROBERT KISKA-SON




4)FOURTH CELEBRITY-INGREDIENTS

SILICON CHIPS
FIND SOME REALLY CHEAP QUALITY SILICON CHIPS..THAT CAN MALFUNCTION ANYTIME ANYWHERE( PREFERABLY A REALITY SHOW)



CRY BABY
A CRY BABY WHICH CAN CRY UNTIL 21 DEC 2012




AND YOU GET....
MRI JAAN RAKHI SAWANT :-P

The plot of every akshay kumar movie ever :p part 1

CLICK TO ENLARGE

The plot of every akshay kumar movie ever :p part 2

CLICK TO ENLARGE



CLICK TO ENLARGE

Raajneeti

"Power Corrupts,and absolute power corrupts absolutely"
-Mahatma Gandhi

its said India has 3 religions-one, politics,two,cricket,and three Bollywood, people love to argue about these three things,everybody has their own opinion,and everybody considers themselves to be an expert in these 3 fields.

Traditionally politics has never been portrayed correctly in Bollywood,politicians are generally shown to be corrupt guys who come in between the hero and the heroine,Rajneeti too is about corrupt politicians,but deals with the matter in panache

Rajneeti combines two of the greatest epics of India, Mahabharata and the saga of Nehru Gandhi family,with a dash of Godfather,its one of those movies which will still be relevant after 10 years.Its a classic,another good one from the prakash jha camp.

All the actors deserve best actor nomination, be it Nana patekar,who played the part of Lord Krishna in the movie,Manoj "karara jawab denge"bajpai,Katrina kaif ,who for me did a mediocre job,Naseerudin Shah, who had a disappearing act in the movie,Ranbir Kapoor who played Arjun,Ajay Devgn as Karan, and my favorite bloke of wood turned actor Arjun"Ankhiya milaon kbi ankhiya churaon" rampal, who according to me was the reel version of Sanjay Gandhi.Arjun Rampal has grown immensely as an actor.

My 5 on 5 for this one,one of the mos hard hitting movie in recent times,intelligent cinema.after watching this movie,you will be disgusted and amazed by the power play in Indian politics ,missing it would be a crime.

ADIOS AMIGOS!!!!

An open Letter from Rakhi Sawant

species-itemus girlika
genus-tharkis
family- silicon implantus

An open Letter from Rakhi Sawant


To all My phans(although i love khaitan ke pankhe da most)

heloz da viewerz,gor se dekho aur gor se dekhooooo,bas bas zyda ni nai to silicon chubh jayega :p
dis is rakhis,2day m on da wire,or as they say on lines,writing letr fr da firsts times,pleej beat your one hand with the other(clap) and blow gas from your holes(whistle)
i luvz indian peoples,and mke luv wid stray dogs(she means she cares alot about stray dogs),i am so full of silicone,you could make a motherboard out of me,i am very talenteds,
i luves 2 dancers,i am looking for luv in ma livez,my prince charms(cigaratte wla :P),who will come on a horses,and drag me(she means will taker her wid him),i luvs to acts
so friendss dis ij alls for 2day

with lots of luvs,
yours and only yours*
Rakhis Sawants

* premium charges apply

Attack of the Anti-gs(Auntyjis)

i ws surfin da net and dis is wat i found out-
Dinosaurs lived for??-160 million years
Genghis khan lived for??-65 yrs
Hitler lived for??-56 yrs
Auntyjis will live for??- *critical error* *system needs to shutdown*

dettol wali auntyji galat bolti hain,kitanu har jagah nahi,anti-g har jagah milti hain,apke ghar mn,pados mein,etc etc

yes friends and girl friends,no matter where you are,you are never too far frm an anti-g

different types of anti-g

1)Mummy ki dost anti-g

Genrly ghar ke ek km ke radius pe milti hain,inko pokes-her-nose-in2-evrythng anti-g b bolte hn

2)Relative anti-g

Genrly found in your family,tends to know evrythng about da famly,and will insult you to death if you score half a mark less then their kid,and no matter what you do,you will always be inferior to their kids,inka main weapon comparision hta hn
example-
aunty-beta shiv tmhare maths mn kitne numbr aye??
shv-aunty 100 mn se 560
auntyji-mri bete ke 561 te,koi ni,tum usse padh lia kro

MY Stupid Facebook/Orkut Communities

I am tired of getting invitations to all kinds of stupid facebook/orkut communities

being the vella i am i was thinking if i made some communities what would their names be-


1)IT BURNS WHEN I PEE
do i have to elaborate on this??


2)IT HURTS WHEN SOMEBODY KICKS ME IN THE GROIN
Ouch!!!

3)I WAS IN MY TOILET WHEN SACHIN MADE 200

theres a page called i was alive when sachin made 200,hw stupid..dude what difference does it make where you were,when sachin made 200,i luv him,no doubt,but no point joining stupid communities

4)I HATE THOSE WHO HATE THOSE WHO HATE THOSE WHO HATE INDIA

I love my India :)

5) I MAKE MY OWN RULES AND I AM STYLISH AND I LUV BEER AND I HAVE ATTITUDE AND I LOVE SHOPPING AND CHOCOLATES AND I AM COOL (In short you are a jerk)

pretty much covers every community