WhY I hAtE LiFts...

There are times in a man’s life when he is all tired, and demoralized, and then there is a divine intervention, something from within tells him to march forward and fight the situation and then there are sometimes when you can feel your balls in your throat, you crap in your pants, waiting for the nightmare to end, when you are stuck in an elevator with a dog…
Last night I went to a friend’s place, lived on the 13th floor (how lucky that is) now let me confess I hate lifts, and I started to climb the stairs, but somehow on the second floor I convinced myself to take the lift. I took the lift, there were 3 people in the lift, me, a lady with only 2 teeth in her mouth, looked like she was straight from some ram gopal verma’s horror flick, and her dog, I don’t remember which breed, but the dog was straight from hell, giving me looks as if he was going to bite my ass off.
Somewhere around the eight floor, the lift stopped, I got scared not because the lift stopped but because the 2 toothed ugly lady was smiling at me, aisa look deri thi ki amrish puri bhi sharma jaye,I thought to myself “beta, ya to aj you are going to get molested or going to get rabies injection, or both”.confusion ye bi tha ki katega kon and molest kon karega.
The dog was really upset and was barking like hell, now if you live on planet earth, and have ever used lifts, you would realize that lifts are not that spacious, a dog barking and jumping could touch your legs with his sharp teeth, and make you piss in your pants.
Somehow after 2 minutes, the lift started and I (safely!!) went on to meet my friend.

I AM DONE WITH LIFTS IN THIS LIFE.