The One with Maggi…

Time- 1:00 Am
Place: Beyond enemy territories, in a place rarely visited by me-The Kitchen
Mission-To cook MAGGI

I woke up that night, feeling hungry, I was all alone, I jumped into my fridge to find something to eat, but I found nothing, I was hungry, desperate and I went to the kitchen, and there I found something in a yellow packet, I saw those 5 dreaded letters M-A-G-G-I

My hands were shaking when I picked up that packet; I knew it was going to be my first time…what if I fail?? What if it doesn’t taste good? ...

Confusion No.1-

It said at the back that we had to put 1 and a half cup of water, now any intelligent man would ask the question, which cup,small cup or large cup?? Steel cup or ceramic cup??

Confusion No.2-

Break into four parts,but in the pic ,the wafers are broken in two parts only…

Confusion No.3-

Cook for two minutes, and stir occasionally-How many times does occasionally mean????

Sab kuch padh liya and samajh liya…now let me make some delicious Maggie…arey yar lighter kahan hain?? X(

uNCHE lOg,UnCHI pASAND,mANIKchand :p

KALLU BHAYYA..HOT AND SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE...ANY LADIES INTERESTED?? :P

“mY NAMe Is PAppu”

There are 3 types of successful actors in bollywood in the world, one who work hard and make it big, two, who don't work hard and make it big, and then there are people who k-k-k-kompletely don’t have the looks, or the acting skills, but make it big in bollywood. They buy stupid teams like K-K-K-K-KOLKATA KNIGHTRIDERS; yes ladies and gentlemen the one and only PAPPU KHAN.

“PAPPU KHAN’S GUIDE TO MAKE A SUPER DUPER HIT MOVIE”

1) NEW HEROINES

Give new talent a chance, bring a new heroine,even she is 45 years younger then you, you might be born in the 12th century, but still you will play a college going guy

2) THE “OPEN YOUR ARMS AND SLOWLY GHUMO” STEP

Pappu khan once told me that he copied this step from a beggar at New Delhi railway station, so no matter where you are, in a movie, in a stadium watching your team play, or pooping in the bathroom, just do it.

3) “I AM KING KONG(OOPS KING KHAN),BAADSHAH” TECHNIQUE

Keep repeating these words, shout them loud in front of media ,even if no one is listening, din mein 1001 bar,this will surely boost your self confidence, but the only side effect is you might be getting 250 volt shocks, in a mental hospital, where your family members may leave you at.

4) K-K-K-KONTROVERSY!!

My name is pappu, yes pappu!!! And when you are pappu, you are discriminated , you are checked at airports, cry about it, make noise, invite players from pappistan, roll naked on the floor, make love to a donkey, do whatever you can, just generate some hype.


FOLLOW THESE RULES, AND MAKE A HIT movie PAPPU ISSSHTYLE ;)

NOTE-ALL PAPPU FANS,IF YOU WERE HURT AND FEEL LIKE KILLING ME,ITS WAS TOTALLY INTENDED :)

PaPEROn MEIn FaiL hoNE Ke BAD ;)......

Doin articlship under babu mochi nw ;)

KAAYAVATI KA Swayamvar

I heard there was going to be a swayamvar season 2,so I went to the NDTV imagine office,but to my disappointment I was informed it was not rakhi ka swayamvar(I love her sooo much,jejussss ki kasam!!!) it was actually rahul mahajan;s swayamvar,being the fame ka bhuka I am , I said mujhe bi lelo,kahani mein acha twist ajayega,they said they cant select me as I was too classy and good looking for rahul mahajan :P.

So I was thinking if the most beautyphool,powerphool and bloodyphool bachelorette of UTTAR PRADESH was to organize her swayamvar, who would turn up to win her heart-

1) SALMAN KHAN
The most eligible bachelor in bollywood, ultimate bad boy, both kayavati and salman are famous for hit and runs, salman hits people on the road and runs away,and kaayavati regularly hits ministers and IAS’s,who if lucky,manage to run away

2) DEV ANAND
The most eligible 250 year old bachelor, ever green, I am sure after 21st December 2012 he would still be alive to repopulate earth

3) EX-GOVERNOR N.D. TIWARI
Clearly the most experienced of the lot (if u know what I mean ;))

4)MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I cn go yar,zyada age difference kahan hain mre aur uske bich mein,I am 20 and shes like wat…92…itna to chalta hi hain :P….waise bi kisko parks mein apni 2000 crs ki statues lagwana nai pasand..mri bi lag jayegi,atleast birds will have something to crap on :P

THE HAIN?????????????? PIC....

My new section on real life funny pics that i click-
FOUND THIS IN MY BATHROOM...

WHO WROTE THIS?? RAKHI SAWANT OR RAVI KISAN BHAYYA??
1)IT IS A "MULTI CLEANER" PRODUCT
2)BAD ORDERS??

Different types of khujlis on phone..…

1 )Result poochne ki khujli…

Magically, out of no where I get a call from my mummy ki behen ke bhai ke beti ke kutte ki dog trainer ki padosi ke ladkey ke dost ki saying-
“Shiv bhai,Mein bankey lal bihari,apne pcc ka paper diya tha,kya hua result ka??”
Me-“Saley peep peep peep @#@#$# rakh phone!!”
I mean these are the people who dont give a damn about my life, and result ke din inko meri bahut yaad ajati hain

2) Obvious chizein puchne ki khujli….

Rat ko do baje I get 25 missed calls,i wake up and I call back
Me-“Bol Bhai”
Mr.xxx-“Bhai So to nai raha tha??”
Me-“Nai mein kabristan mein night shift ki job karra hun”

3) "Mein bol raha hun" khujli….

One day I get a call-
Mr.XXX-"Hello Shiv"
Me-"Han kaun??"
Mr.XXX-"Bhai,mein bol raha hun"
Me-"Bol to mein bi raha hun..Tu hain kon??"